With the emergence of dating apps, it seemed that loneliness would cease to exist as a phenomenon. Developers promised that algorithms would help everyone find their significant other. But no miracle happened. Today, many users delete their profiles, disappointed in online dating. The exciting search for a soulmate has turned into a dull and exhausting routine. People spend months swiping and messaging, which lead nowhere, and increasingly feel irritation instead of joy. So why has something that was supposed to simplify our lives actually made them more complicated? Let’s explore this together.
The illusion of choice and the “overload” effect
The main problem with dating services is the excessive number of profiles. At first glance, it may seem that the more options there are, the easier it is to find the perfect partner. But in reality, too many options actually make the search more difficult. A huge number of users fall into a trap. They get used to the idea that the next swipe might lead them to someone even more attractive and successful. Because of this, a person constantly thinks about a hypothetical “better option” and keeps swiping, even if they have already come across interesting candidates.
As a result, the value of each new acquaintance decreases. Each person is perceived as a temporary option, and users do not try to get to know them better. After all, why spend time on someone who does not meet all the requirements, if there are always hundreds of profiles in reserve? Overall, there is a clear trend that many users treat each other like products, evaluating them based on certain characteristics. Naturally, in such a situation, there is no real closeness or deep emotional connection.
The “overload” effect plays a cruel trick on us. Endless swiping is exhausting and strips the process of dating of any meaning. In the end, we remain lonely among a vast number of profiles. All because, out of fear of missing out on our ideal, we never dare to take a step towards a real person who could genuinely make us happy.
Fatigue from endless swiping
Overall, the swipe-based format is not as harmless as it may seem at first glance. The way most apps work resembles the mechanics of gambling. Developers are well aware of this. Their main goal is to keep users engaged for as long as possible. The dating industry is essentially built on loneliness, and profit directly depends on the number of active users. Therefore, no one is interested in users quickly finding their significant other and deleting the app.
Moreover, it has already been proven that swiping can be addictive. Dopamine is to blame. This hormone is released in response to something pleasurable. When a person browses profiles and gets a match, a dopamine release occurs. Even if there are no matches, the brain pushes a person to repeat the same actions, expecting that the next swipe will lead to a match and, as a result, another surge. Eventually, users become literally addicted to swiping. The action itself starts bringing more pleasure than real communication.
However, over time, even what once brought excitement turns into routine. Users begin swiping automatically, without even paying attention to whose profile they are seeing. As a result, they no longer have the energy for meaningful communication. Even when a match occurs, a person may consciously refuse to start a conversation because they are simply too tired to introduce themselves again and ask questions. In the end, users increasingly realise how meaningless this process is and start using the app less often or delete their profile altogether.
Video chats — bringing emotions back to online dating
It is no surprise that so many users are looking for an alternative to “conveyor-style” apps. Fortunately, platforms that prioritise live interaction over mechanical actions do exist — and these are online video chats. This format is well known to millennials: the first random chat roulette appeared in 2009. At that time, the service was seen more as a way to pass the time by talking to strangers via video. Today, however, modern chats such as OmeTV and Omega TV are used to find a significant other.
The main advantage of such platforms is the sense of presence. Even if you are separated by oceans, you can still see and hear a chat partner as if they were in the same room. Communication happens in real time, so there is no need to wait long for a reply as in messaging. All of this helps people connect more quickly and feel an emotional bond.
In addition, online chats offer a completely different dating format. There are no swipes — you simply press the “Start” button and within seconds begin talking to a random stranger. It is impossible to predict who will appear on the other side of the screen next, as the system connects users randomly. This brings back the unpredictability of real life to online dating. Each new connection becomes a chance to meet someone special.
Moreover, in video chats you do not spend weeks communicating with someone who may turn out to be completely different from their photos. There are no filters or masks — you see the chat partner as they really are. Therefore, the likelihood of disappointment during a real-life meeting is much lower. Sometimes even a short video call is enough to understand how comfortable you feel with a person and whether there is potential in the connection. That is why modern webcam chats are an excellent tool for finding a partner. They make online dating more emotionally engaging and alive, allowing people to once again enjoy meeting new people.
A few final words
Disappointment in dating services is not a reason to give up on online dating altogether. The internet remains a place where it is entirely possible to find your significant other. The positive experiences of thousands of couples around the world confirm this. The key is to realise in time that the usual format is no longer working and to try something different. Do not be afraid to explore alternative platforms. It is important to find a format that brings you joy rather than drains your time and energy. And who knows — perhaps a random video chat will lead you to your soulmate.
